Yep, I’ve changed jobs. My last day at Telecom was on Friday. And of course it was full of all the sort of stuff that happens at a job on the last day. The last supper (well, okay, the last lunch) where everyone turns up to stuff their faces. (Except the Melways-disadvantaged, who somehow managed ... [More]
Richmond isn’t just where you change to and from loop trains. It’s also where I go to the dentist. We all know how essential it is to go to the dentist regularly. But most of us don’t unless we’re forcibly dragged there. And why? Because no matter how nice the dentist might personally be… it ... [More]
Why is it that desks seem to attract junk? They’re natural junk magnets. And why is it that there are never enough places for the junk to be moved to during an emergency tidying session? Why is it that staplers don’t have a natural habitat – somewhere you should be able to reasonably expect them ... [More]
Walls do more than just hold up roofs. They act as a complement to the furniture within a room. You can have painted walls, plain brick walls, or wallpapered walls. But no matter how far wall technology develops, it is still impossible to hang a picture up straight first time. Every time I try to ... [More]
Until the weekend, I thought I had grown up. I’ve moved out of home, got married (or was it the other way round?), got a Real Job, and now we’re expecting the first kid. I thought I was truly an adult. But no. For this was the weekend that I truly reached manhood. For the ... [More]
I think I may be getting far too involved in this seventies revival thing. I blame the movies. I suppose the signs were there. Tapping my feet to the music in "Strictly Ballroom" a couple of years ago. But it’s getting worse. We saw "Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert" the other day. Very good film. ... [More]
Okay, time for a few home truths. It may surprise you to hear that I’m not a completely swinging manic lunatic who spends his days and nights partying, indulging in wild drinking, and making everyone in the surrounding area laugh constantly from dawn til dusk. I’m actually quite a boring individual, and you would probably ... [More]
It’s been what you might call an unusual week for me. Please allow me to tell you all about it. ASTONISHING EVENT #1. I really thought it would never happen. I thought it was the kind of thing that only happened on TV shows where the main character was 35 weeks pregnant. But it really ... [More]
Failed business tycoon Christopher Skase is still battling extradition from Spain to face trial in Australia, claiming illness. But he doesn’t seem to be attracting much sympathy. Why? Because he’s taken in exile in Majorca, that’s why! It’s not exactly a case of "awww… poor Skasey… down and out… penniless… sunning himself on the beach ... [More]
Planes arrive late. For some reason, those in charge of planes (i.e. pilots) sometimes do very silly things, like fail to load enough fuel to quite make the distance, go via Fiji because of turbulence, forget about and overshoot Hawaii, accidentally take a wrong turning at Auckland, or even happily land in Austria before realising ... [More]
This is a plea to any of my relatives who may be reading. (Actually, not many of my relatives do read this drivel, meaning that my standing in the family as a "fine upstanding young man with a promising career etc etc" has not yet been completely shattered. Give it time.) Don’t give me any ... [More]
Photocopiers. Another example of a good idea, implemented by complete sadists. I mean honestly… does it really need to have that many buttons? And do they have to have all those little symbols all over them? Surely it would be easier if each button just actually SAID what it was for. "Do the copy now", ... [More]