Guest House Paradiso 5:45pm. I have just returned home, my pockets bulging and my arms stretching from the weight of, in no particular order: 2 litres of Apple/Blackcurrant juice 2 litres of milk 2 potatoes of the ilk that the supermarket describes as "Nadine" – one moderately large, and one absolutely fucking enormous – as ... [More]
The state and federal governments have been splitting up government businesses and selling them off. To introduce competition, they say, to improve services. So now the Victorian police are having problems responding to crime. 45 minutes to get to a burglary, that sort of thing. So I was thinking… they should do the same thing: ... [More]
Have you ever noticed how in the supermarket the check-out chicks/ blokes sometimes have to ask the customer what a fruit is so they can enter the code? Okay, to be fair, I don’t know what half the stuff is, especially those really bizarre fruits like the star shaped ones and the small round hairy ... [More]
I think I’ve hit the jackpot. Just about every morning I walk to work from South Yarra Station, a location frequented in the peak hours by the Yuppies who live there and catch trains to the city, hordes of kids heading for a multitude of schools, and people who work nearby, like me. In the ... [More]
Well, the Grand Prix was pretty impressive. Especially that crash in the first lap. The advertising puzzles me. Billboard cigarette advertising’s been banned for years in this state. But the rule appears to be "if it’s the Grand Prix, it’s okay." Hmmm. At least the government warning has to be proportionally increased with the size ... [More]
Following on from my previous call to my old mobile phone company telling them I was disconnecting, I got this, a bill for three cents: Rather than spend forty-five cents sending them a cheque, I gleefully rang them at their own expense on their Freecall number to have a good laugh. They most generously said ... [More]
I’ve been having the best fun. Last week I got to write a letter to a phone company. I got to tell them that their threat to cut me off for not paying them a bill doesn’t hold much weight because I asked to be disconnected – and that’s why they shouldn’t be sending me ... [More]
Hello… hello, Earth to Ian Leslie. Come in Ian Leslie, former Sixty Minutes Reporter. Leslie, your cover’s blown. After ads for Woolworths, electricity privatisation and ANZ Bank, everyone has realised you’re not really a journalist anymore… come in Leslie… [My spelling checker wanted to change "ANZ" to "NAZI"]
Until the weekend, I thought I had grown up. I’ve moved out of home, got married (or was it the other way round?), got a Real Job, and now we’re expecting the first kid. I thought I was truly an adult. But no. For this was the weekend that I truly reached manhood. For the ... [More]