I just went to a seminar. I like seminars. Seminars are good. For those of you who are still at university, or are otherwise not reputable hard-working citizens, here’s a quick description of how seminars happen. First, some bright spark decides he can charge companies a few hundred bucks to get them to send their ... [More]
A WARNING TO ALL ATTACHED MALES: Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. Forget this, and three of your objects may not stay attached for very long.
The Pope arrives in Australia this Wednesday. Same day as Bill Gates. This may provide the opportunity to determine whether or not they are one and the same person. Think about it! You never see Bill and John Paul together at the same time, do you? For all we know, Bill walks out of his ... [More]
Well, welcome to the last day of 1994. I personally find it rather worrying that we’re going into the second half of this decade already… I mean, where the hell did it vanish to? Oh well… Not to worry. Plenty has happened over the last year. Keeping in the tradition of world history, most of ... [More]
The fly. Useful though it is, it can be very embarrassing when forgotten. Just why is it that selective amnesia can so often cause one to forget to do up one’s fly? This is a question that has vexed scientists ever since it was invented. There’s meant to be a routine that we all do ... [More]
Yep, I’ve changed jobs. My last day at Telecom was on Friday. And of course it was full of all the sort of stuff that happens at a job on the last day. The last supper (well, okay, the last lunch) where everyone turns up to stuff their faces. (Except the Melways-disadvantaged, who somehow managed ... [More]
Richmond isn’t just where you change to and from loop trains. It’s also where I go to the dentist. We all know how essential it is to go to the dentist regularly. But most of us don’t unless we’re forcibly dragged there. And why? Because no matter how nice the dentist might personally be… it ... [More]
Why is it that desks seem to attract junk? They’re natural junk magnets. And why is it that there are never enough places for the junk to be moved to during an emergency tidying session? Why is it that staplers don’t have a natural habitat – somewhere you should be able to reasonably expect them ... [More]
Walls do more than just hold up roofs. They act as a complement to the furniture within a room. You can have painted walls, plain brick walls, or wallpapered walls. But no matter how far wall technology develops, it is still impossible to hang a picture up straight first time. Every time I try to ... [More]
Until the weekend, I thought I had grown up. I’ve moved out of home, got married (or was it the other way round?), got a Real Job, and now we’re expecting the first kid. I thought I was truly an adult. But no. For this was the weekend that I truly reached manhood. For the ... [More]
I think I may be getting far too involved in this seventies revival thing. I blame the movies. I suppose the signs were there. Tapping my feet to the music in "Strictly Ballroom" a couple of years ago. But it’s getting worse. We saw "Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert" the other day. Very good film. ... [More]
Okay, time for a few home truths. It may surprise you to hear that I’m not a completely swinging manic lunatic who spends his days and nights partying, indulging in wild drinking, and making everyone in the surrounding area laugh constantly from dawn til dusk. I’m actually quite a boring individual, and you would probably ... [More]