TV, movies, music, that kind of thing
Australia’s Most Wanted man, Brett Maston, is no longer most wanted – in fact he’s now "The Criminal Formerly Known As Most Wanted". They caught him over the weekend in Perth. Lucky the Victorian police didn’t get to him first or he’d probably have been shot. But there’s something I don’t understand. Last week his ... [More]
Maybe I’ve always been a jokester. I’ve been remembering my first big practical joke. How I planned it. How I inflicted it upon the family. And how it flopped completely. It was the 70’s. Kiss were king. Yes, Kiss. I couldn’t understand the fascination with Kiss. Imagine, some kids were collecting Kiss bubblegum cards! Sick ... [More]
Went to a street festival over the weekend. Festivals always look like so much fun, don’t they. It’s something about the atmosphere of stuffing three hundred thousand people into a couple of blocks for a weekend. Enjoy the food, watch the people, buy the merchandise, wonder why the bands playing there haven’t made it big… ... [More]
As I write this, the French are detonating nuclear bombs in the Pacific. And so, this week’s moron of the week is Jacques Chirac, who has defied world opinion and common sense, and gone ahead with the first of the new series of French nuclear tests. Why? Well, no-one’s really sure. Actually, today we saw ... [More]
It’s time to admit that I too many video tapes. Far too many. So many, in fact, that it’s too much of an effort to count them so I can tell you how many there are. It’s… it’s… somewhere around the region of… um… 300. Yes, three hundred. <DEFENSIVE MODE> Look, I don’t know how ... [More]
Del Amitri has just released a new album. And what a kick in the teeth for their loyal fans – with the new album comes a free copy of their last album. Oh, thanks very much guys. Like we don’t already have it. Just ‘cos you woke up one Monday and realised you had ARRRGGHHH! ... [More]
We just saw the remains of ELO in concert. The special effects at concerts are getting more impressive. The laser shows, formerly designed to impress, are now designed to partially blind you, and contain subliminal messages telling you to buy the band’s new album. The lights and lasers can be incredibly bright. You wouldn’t want ... [More]
I saw "Star Trek – Generations" over the weekend. Great movie. But I’ll tell you what I want to know: Why do none of the spacecraft have seat belts? Whenever there’s a battle, whenever a ship crashes into the ground, all you see are people being thrown all over the place. They may have made ... [More]
The fly. Useful though it is, it can be very embarrassing when forgotten. Just why is it that selective amnesia can so often cause one to forget to do up one’s fly? This is a question that has vexed scientists ever since it was invented. There’s meant to be a routine that we all do ... [More]
I think I may be getting far too involved in this seventies revival thing. I blame the movies. I suppose the signs were there. Tapping my feet to the music in "Strictly Ballroom" a couple of years ago. But it’s getting worse. We saw "Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert" the other day. Very good film. ... [More]
This is a plea to any of my relatives who may be reading. (Actually, not many of my relatives do read this drivel, meaning that my standing in the family as a "fine upstanding young man with a promising career etc etc" has not yet been completely shattered. Give it time.) Don’t give me any ... [More]
So, the Australian Winter Olympic team… from the land down under… from the wide brown flat land of searing sun and steaming kangaroo shit… have finally managed to get a medal. That’s right, Australia has got a Winter Olympics medal for the first time ever. Bronze. And while the rest of the country bathes in ... [More]