Burger time

Every couple of weeks, often on a Friday, I have a hankering for a burger and chips. I know it’s not good for me, but sometimes, just sometimes, you need to indulge your tastebuds.

So I go along to the local Hungry Jacks, incorrectly choose the queue which looks like it’s going to move the fastest, but which in fact has at its head the little old lady who has never been to Hungry Jacks before and is asking the counter staff what each item on the menu is. Eventually I get to the head of the queue and order a Bacon Deluxe Value Meal, but with an OJ instead of a Coke. (Occasionally it’s something else, but that’s the usual one. Yes, they have allegedly healthy salad-oriented meals now. Would I order one of those? Hell no. If I want a salad, I don’t go to Hungry Jacks.)

The counter person will ask me if I want to upsize, and I will say no. They’ll ask if I wish to eat in, and I’ll say yes. With attention and skill they prepare and bring my meal, and I go and get a strawer. Then I’ll try and grab a napkin.

Is it just me that has trouble grabbing the napkins out of the napkin dispensers at Hungry Jacks? It’s like they’ve been specially set up to resist giving you anything. They’re wired up so tightly that if you try and grasp just one napkin, all you get is a tiny bit of torn paper. Thus you have to try and get a grip on three or four napkins, and you end up with too many.

I find a seat, eat my meal, ponder why fast food is so often just a little bit disappointing in terms of taste and general satisfaction, ponder the napkin dispensers, and try and calculate how many K’s walking I should do to work off the burger. I use one napkin to wipe my mouth and hands, and take the rest back to work with me to use on another occasion.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.

12 replies on “Burger time”

I think that you (Australians) and us (Peruvian) do like to eat well… You know that Peru is the only country in the world where Mc’Donalds and Burger King don’t sell more than a local burger company?

We have a local Burger Company called BEMBOS that sells burgers that we like … A big bread with a big burger… and the stuff with it vary on each burger… The “Peruvian” burger, for example, has fried sweet potato, onion and fried banana… yes.. I know it sounds weird… but it is really nice… you should try it out!!..:)

OMG to the napkin dispensers :) I usually get takeaway from HJ and bring it back to work, with enough napkins to satisfy the entire office. Also it’s a double Wopper with Cheese :) And I’m totally unhealthy, chuck away the tomato and onion and just eat the meat and cheese (urgh). Totally disgusting.

BTW I just read somewhere that it takes a 20 kilometre walk to burn of one can of soft drink (possibly not true). So maybe by the end of the year you’ll have walked off that burger!

LOL – goodonya Marita! I was wondering that myself :) – reminds me of an email a few weeks back, that said a friend was finally off his crotchers. ?? of course I had to correct it – ‘crutches’ ! I think ‘crotchers’ would be something else entirely?!

Double Bacon Whopper with extra cheese…ooooohhmmm…

God I’m hungry.

Though I think the problems with the napkins are caused by overfilling. Having them packed in so tight means there’s no give.

Interesting you should bring this up, Leapping Larry L’s Adnausea column in yesterdays Green Guide was on the topic of Hungry Jack’s TV ads.

Yes those “serviette” (isn’t napkin one of those ameri-lish words?) dispensers are very difficult to deal with. My usual at HJs is a Whopper with cheese value meal, no upsize, eat in.

I know the feeling but as an expat Aussie the burgers I really miss are not from the big burger chains. You know the kind of place where you can order a “burger with the works” and they cook up this massive thing with grilled onions, beetroot, a fried egg and possibly a slice of pineapple. Or is it just me?

No it’s not just you David. Melbourne, as would most other cities, now have establishments dedicated to purveying gourmet burgers. And then above all else there’s your typical fish `n chip shop burger. Mmmm. Messy but delicious.

Is strawer Australian for straw?

Here in America we have decent burgers, too, not just McD’s and BK/HJ. The best ones are almost always found at a neighborhood bar–unless you want something silly and pretentious on your burger, then you have to go to an upscale national chain that tries to look like a neighborhood bar.

David – A roadhouse about 25 minutes on the Melbourne side of Calgoa (Calder HWY) does AWESOME real old-style burgers. Okay, so many a four hour drive towards Mildura is a little far to go for a burger… but…

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