Hell on earth

There’s only one thing more like hell on earth than kids running around like maniacs in an indoor playground during a kid’s birthday party. And that’s kids running around like maniacs in your house during a kid’s birthday party.

Jeremy’s fourth birthday party had been scheduled for a local park. Parks are a good place for birthday parties. You only have to keep your picnic table (or whatever) tidy, and you can send the kids off to play on the playground equipment to keep them occupied.

The problem with this plan was the weather. Sunday morning it poured down rain, making it impossible to have the party in the park after all. So we moved it to my place. With eight kids running around like maniacs (well, most of them were – some were comparatively calm and sensible) the place was soon a tip.

One kid behaved like a complete little shit. Not his first time behaving badly at a party, either. I could previously have given him the benefit of the doubt, but now he’s ensured himself a lifetime ban on future events.

The parents helped me tidy up afterwards, which made it rather less painful than it might have been. Not sure what I’m going to do with all the left over balloons, honey joys, chocolate thingies (that might not be the official name), and not to mention the bits of cake rammed into the carpet. Maybe I’ll just eat them all. Except the bits of cake. And the balloons.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.