How to get fired

Work is pretty quiet at the moment – in fact dead sometimes.

The other day some of us were discussing strategies for dealing with the quiet spells. Like learning to sleep with your eyes open. The theory is, if you leave one hand on your mouse, and run a program on your computer that would make the screen change a lot, nobody would notice if you fell asleep with your eyes open.

Things here are just too quiet for me, and having got wind of The Perfect Job(tm) being available out there in The Big Wide World Of Contracting, I’ve asked my boss to let me go at the end of the month. Call it time off for good behaviour.


Hopefully he will, in the spirit of the cost-cutting, economising culture surrounding the outsourcing deal that saw us all moved from the phone company to an IT company. And hopefully that IT company won’t want the very spiffy clock and groovy pen back that they gave us all as a welcoming present.

It has been suggested to me that I should turn up to work in ripped jeans and a t-shirt that says "The boss is a wanker" on it. But I’m not sure that would improve my re-employment prospects in future.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.