Ranting TV


I don’t think I’ve ever shouted at the television in frustration before. Certainly not when I was on my own, nobody else to hear it. I don’t consider myself an angry person by any means, and it took several steps to get there before it all boiled over.

Step 1 was doing ironing and wanting to find something to watch.

Step 2 was finding nothing worth watching.

Step 3 was giving up on finding anything worth watching, and deciding to see what they were up to on the Logies.

Step 4: “Coming up… Delta Goodrem

Step 5 was Eddie presenting.

Step 6 … and continually pronouncing her name as Deltra, while recounting her past year like anybody (even me who doesn’t read the gossip rags in the supermarket checkout) wouldn’t know. CD hit, the lymphoma, new look, new boyfriend…

Step 7 was bringing Deltra up on stage and recounting it again. At first I thought she might be embarrassed, but wait, she’s a singer and former soapie starlet, right? It would have been all pre-arranged.

And the final straw that broke the camel’s back? Eddie: “Mark!” And they cut to the boyfriend in the audience.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” I shouted, changing channels hurredly, find some commercials to watch instead.

Who watches that crap? Not me, that’s who. I can only assume it’s aimed at the type of people like my dad’s old neighbour, who one time when I went over to collect his mail, found her breathless, almost weepy, over something that had happened to Maggie in Blue Heelers. Not that I’d begrudge someone their favourite TV series or personality, and I’m sure Deltra’s been through a lot, but there are more important things in the world.

PS. Footy tipping. By the end of Saturday night, I’d got 4 out of 5. Hooray. By the end of the weekend, 4 out of 8. Boooo. Oh well, could be worse.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.

10 replies on “FFS”

The australian tv industry takes itself VERY seriously indeed, which is interesting considering that 90% of what they produce is fluff. Eddie to me
is a little meatball with only one facial expression
at his disposal who is yet to say something worthwhile remembering. I would have sworn at the tv as well.

I caught that bit too (whilst channel surfing) and found it quite embarassing. DeltRa told Edward that she didn’t wish to talk about the cancer! Oh, and I just happened to see Bert Newton too. He was quite self-effacing wherein he took off his hairpiece whilst on stage before presenting the gold logie. He pretended it was an accident but obviously he meant to do it.

You know TV’s boring when you cannot even find something to watch on Foxtel. Digital is the most over-hyped thing of 2004. Same programmes just shown on more stations. Didn’t even bother trying to watch the logies. Maybe would have if Andrew Denton had been hosting. It usually makes me cringe when the O/S guests are on. I mean for goodness sake, we only have 3 commercial stations – they must think we’re from the boonies.

It sounds like I’ll be watching less TV when I come over to Australia… and I thought british TV was crap with all the repeats, reality shows, DIY shows etc..

Still what with the better weather I might actually venture outside and see what thats like.

“I don’t think I’ve ever shouted at the television in frustration before.”

You must not watch much TV then. Just wait until the next feminine hygiene advert comes on, or something equally bad.

Yes it could have been worse. You could have gotten my result of 2 from 8. Even the people who forgot to put their tips in scored higher!!

It’s clear that Channel 9 doesn’t give a toss about it’s viewers when it stick Eddie in front of yet another “special”. The man has zero interview skills unless it comes to footballers – the Deltra and Anastasia interviews were painful, to say the least. Perhaps we could blame the material he was being fed – but I’d prefer not to. Congrat to the CNNN team for taking the piss unmercilessly out of the whole fiasco. That alone was worth staying up for!

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