Consumerism Home life

Junk mail

Cladding in the mailJunk mail with a difference arrived in the letterbox last week. A piece of weatherboard cladding, about 30 x 5 cm, merely a sampler of what the manufacturer promises is a new generation in cladding. It’ll solve world hunger, it will bring peace, it’s a permanent solution to maintenance, it won’t chip, split rot or warp. Really.

Arguably the weatherboard on my house could do with recladding, but equally arguably (if not more) it’s not my problem because the house is rented. I assume they put one in the letterbox of every weatherboard house in the area. I wonder if anybody short of cash but keen to reclad has been snooping around trying to gather up enough sample pieces to stick together and cover a wall. Wouldn’t look the best, mind you…

So what to do with my sample piece? Maybe I should keep it. Apart from being a conversation piece, it could have a myriad of other uses. Back scratcher. Defence against burglars. Useful for poking under the couch to dislodge errant Lego pieces. Door stop. Paper weight. Fly swatter. Plate scraper. The possibilities are endless.

4:52pm. In the spirit of “I don’t need this junk hanging about the house”, I’ve just chucked it in the bin.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.

5 replies on “Junk mail”

Daniel, I live near you and I received a sample too. The brick house next door also got one! I chucked mine away, not being a huge fan of cladding. Changing the subject; when you come on the telly I tell my missus “there’s Daniel”. I’ve told her about your weblog but she hasn’t shown any interest in taking a look. Are you living in Carnegie now?

“myriad of other uses” .. item to put into a box which you’ll have to shift the next time you move which will then be left in a room for your children to unpack after you die of old age & they’ll wonder, “why the *hell* did dad keep this??”


Someone will ring you in a few days to ask if you were impressed with that sample of cladding. That happened to us a few years ago.

Yeah, they rang my house to see what we thought about the cladding. My 20 YO daughter answered and didn’t know what they were talking about. They haven’t rung back :)

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