Stalked by telemarketers!

A predictive dialler is stalking me. It’s been ringing for a couple of weeks now. If the phone rings and the caller ID says "Private Number" and there’s silence on the other end, then hold music, I just hang up. Honestly, what a nerve – them ringing you up to put you on hold until they have someone free to talk to you. It seems to happen several times a week. They obviously need to tune their phone-answering-optimism factor or whatever it’s called.

Today it rang three times. When I answered it the second time, I again got the hold music. Fortunately I had answered in my spare room on my handy dandy phone which has the Hold facility. So I put them on hold. I don’t know if the predictive dialler handed the call to a human or not, but whoever (or whatever) was on the other end held on for a minute, before hanging up!

Time for a survey. What should I do?

A. Keep stringing them along (while avoiding talking to them) so they spend as much money on time and phone calls as I can cause them to spend, until they give up.

B. Answer, wait for a human to come on the other end, say "sorry, just be a moment" then put them on hold and walk away from the phone and get on with eating my dinner.

C. Answer their call, find out who they are, then tell them to piss off.

D. Try and rig up a fax modem to my phone line to answer the call of the predictive dialler so it goes away automatically.

E. Find out who they are and then send them a bill for all the wasted time.

F. Try and do the
anti-telemarketing counterscript
on them.

G. Follow
Josh’s idea of trying to get a packet of chocolate biscuits out of them
for participating in whatever foul deeds they want of me.

H. Answer, and pretend not to speak English, but some kind of pygmy language.

This survey has now concluded – thanks for all your responses!

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.