Return to sender

<Movie trailer voice> He did what nobody else would do. What nobody else dared to do. What nobody else knew how to do. </Movie trailer voice>

Okay, I don’t understand. Why is it that I’m the only one in my block who knows how to write "NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS" on an unwanted envelope, and chuck it back in the mail? It’s not rocket science. Has the great work of Elvis, who did a famous awareness campaign for returning unwanted letters, worn off after all these decades?

Everyone else seems to think that if a letter arrives addressed to the mad bloke who used to live in flat 6, that the best solution is to either:

(a) leave it on top of the letter boxes, until it either disintegrates in the rain, or gets blown away down the street, never to be seen again

or (b) put into someone else’s letter box – a different one each day, until everybody’s so sick of it that they leave it on top of the letter boxes, and we go to option (a)

I am amazed at how these letters disintegrate in the rain, actually. Anybody would think it was acid rain or something. I can only presume that the big corporations are saving money by using very thin paper and envelopes nowadays, or they are making them very very biodegradable in order that they look like good corporate citizens.

Seriously, after only a day or two, there are holes peppered right through the letters. Makes them look very weird, and I wonder what the people getting these letters back will think.

Numerous people have written in to suggest it’s snails stopping by for a short meal. That makes sense. Thanks.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.