Apparently in the last few weeks hundreds of people in the south eastern suburbs of Melbourne have been phoning authorities to tell them about UFOs flying overhead. The usual UFO flight path appears to be about the same as the night time flight path of an advertising blimp, which is illuminated at night.

The Whitman's blimpActually for a while I thought the blimp might be following me. The day before Grand Final day I spotted it from work, then on Grand Final day it flew right over me when I was walking down to the shops. And of course I saw it during the match coverage on TV, it was flying over the MCG. Yesterday it flew by the house, and earlier today it circled the building where I work a couple of times. Maybe if I buy their product they’ll leave me alone.

Anyway, can you imagine how bored you’d be if you were had to deal with the dozens of UFO calls every night?

"Hello, UFO hotline."

"There’s a UFO up there! Flying around!"

<sigh> "Oh really sir? Could you describe it?"

"It’s kind of… UFO shaped. Kind of round, but not round, kind of round but flattened… And sort of alienesque. You know Close Encounters?"


"Just like that. And it’s flying around at… oh, an incredible speed. Must be at least 200 K an hour, wouldn’t you say Diedre? Yeah."


"Yeah. And it’s glowing. Does that mean they’re going to land and take over?"

"I’m not sure. Can you see any markings on it?"

"Yeah… I can just make out some markings… They look very alien, not at all like English of course…"

"Oh really? So nothing recognisable then?"

"Nope, not that I can see. Wait a minute, I’ll get my glasses. Oh wait! The letters are blurring… what do you call it, morphing… I can make something out… it says… Whi… tma… nsc… ho… co… lates… Hmm. Whi tma nsc ho co lates. What can it mean?"


"Hello? Hello? Omigod Diedre, the aliens have cut the line!"

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.