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Melbourne

Amusing

Amusing things from the last few days…

The other week, listening to the radio, hearing the host condemning Critical Mass for daring to protest, then almost in the same breath talking about the anniversary of the Eureka Stockade, and the wonderful spirit of rebellion it invoked.

Bloke in suit at Caulfield Station who jumped off the stopper to Mordialloc on platform 2. The announcement had said an express would be along on the same platform just after it. Evidently what he thought he heard it say was that the train sitting on platform 3 was an express. Actually that was going back in the opposite direction. He ignored the platform sign, the sign inside the carriage, and boarded it anyway. Probably got a shock when it started moving.

A kid at a tram stop, being held by his dad, either in a coma or fast asleep, flat as a board, both floppy and rigid at the same time.

Cars queued up to turn right at the intersection near my mum’s place. Why? Because the old guy at the top of the queue had stopped about 2 metres before the stop line, clear of the sensor to trigger the right turn arrow. Here’s a hint, motorists: stop at the stop line. Not before it, not over it blocking the ped crossing. The sensor will see your car there, and you’ll be on your way quicker.

By Daniel Bowen

Transport blogger / campaigner and spokesperson for the Public Transport Users Association / professional geek.
Bunurong land, Melbourne, Australia.
Opinions on this blog are all mine.

4 replies on “Amusing”

>> Why? Because the old guy at the top of the queue had stopped about 2 metres before the stop line, clear of the sensor to trigger the right turn arrow

Arrrrggggghhhhhhhh – what p#sses me off more than that is the utter dipsh#ts who sloooooow riiiiiight doooooowwwwwwwnnnnnn and crawl up to the lights, figuring by the time they get there maybe they won’t have to put a teensy bit more pressure on the break pedal and come to a full stop. What a %^&*#$ stupid thing to do when you’re not on the main road for that intersection, and thus the lights won’t even know you’re there until you’re on the bloody sensor!!!!!!

Had a chuckle yesterday. Coming down a highway and needed to merge into the left lane ready to turn off. There’s a guy in the left lane behind me so I indicate, wait a couple of moments, am about to start merging…. and the dipsh#t speeds up to stop me merging. Had to wait for him to go by, merge, and then do my turn as expected. Thing is he decided to do 60km/hr once he made that turn whereas I did 80km/hr as per the limit for that road. I pull into work, park, and walk toward our admin building… and who do I see pulling into the visitors park, yep it’s the dipsh#t who had just blocked me. By the time I walk inside he’s now entering reception and spots me – face turning red in an instant. I simply stuck my finger up at him and walked upstairs – thought it best refraining from what I wanted to say.

Shame he wasn’t here to see me…!!!

I see this constantly at the intersection of Toorak and St Kilda Rd’s. Some are quite persistant and will sit through a couple of sets of lights. Often a car will come up behind them and bring the arrow up. Some just give up and go straight ahead. Mostly they go past the loop in the road and half into the interesection, but some sit back from the loop and I feel sorry for the cars behind. A good reason for cars behind to give the front one a shove forward.
Some end up turning illegally.

Giving a bit of thought to loops in the road can help you a lot when making your way around in a motor vehicle. So if you see me in Station St, Burwood, stopped back a bit from the line waiting to turn right into Burwood Hwy, it is because I am pretending to be the second car and hence bring up the arrow. A single car is deemed unworthy of needing an arrow. I add that there is not a red arrow here, just a green one for when a two or more cars are turning right.

When I am cycling home form work in the evening I often can’t cross the main road leading into my suburb legally because the bike won’t trigger the sensor. Annoying – especially when some of the newer detectors do seem to detect bikes. I was under the impression that the detectors are actually an induction loop in the surface of the road.

On a motorbike it is often unable to set them off probably because of the lack of metal (and suposedly the increased use of alloys in engines) in them (or if weight based ones exist, the weight) and it is bloody annoying. Often at lights you have to move forward more so the car behind can trigger it, otherwise you have to either use set off the pedestrian lights or just go through when clear.

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